I'm calling about the 68 Chevelle...

Many years ago I was a partner in a used car dealership and we had taken a 68 Chevelle on trade. This was a very tough car. The good motor was gone and in it's place was a tired straight six. There really wasn't anything left of the body. Cars in Southern Ontario rust so fast. We tried to hoist the car up to get a look at it but the host was moving through the floor and the car was staying on the ground. We just put it outside and hoped someone would come by. I took it to the car auction and the top bid was $75. It had to be worth more then that? My friend drove the car back from the auction for me and it drove so badly that he exclaimed "I thought you were my friend?!". I couldn't find a buyer so it was a last ditch effort to try the Old Car Trader. I worded the ad this way "68 Chevelle, bad body, bad engine, good price $850.

The phone rang a couple weeks later and this guy wanted to trade a 77 Mustang 4cyl that was a good runner for our Chevelle. We decided we had the Chevelle long enough and it didn't even run anymore. We did the trade. I couldn't sell that Mustang either! We had that car such a long time, that a famly of mice had moved into it. But this story isn't about that Mustang. No, no this story is about how the phone rang and rang for the 68 Chevelle. Each caller insisted he know the details about the car. Why? It was SOLD! Undeterred they would ask "What kind of engine was in it?", "Who purchased it?". What the... it was SOLD. In fact the calls came for 6 months! "I'm calling about the 68 Chevelle...". I had questions of my own for the callers. "How old is the Old Car Trader you are looking at?". You see, it turns out that the Old Car Trader is not the type of book that people throw out the next day. Who knew? Well instead of getting annoyed with all the calls I decided to have some fun.

The very next caller that asked "What was under the hood of this car" I would say "Oh it was some kind of big gas guzzler, and that it didn't run right. It ran all lumpity lump" (I was doing my best impression of being the type of person that wouldn't know what a cammed up big block would run like). I further imbellished my description with "You couldn't drive it, all it wanted to do is Rrrrrr and squeel the wheels - It was too hard to drive!" Well, I heard gasps, and even whimpers over the phone. These callers took the bait and believed they had missed out on the deal of the century. They were even more determined to find out who bought the car. I would never tell. The last call was at 9 months after the ad appeared. The car business was cursed like that.